“Friendship”
by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert
Jesus was a great teacher. But not in the usual ways people think of him.
His major influence on those who were close to him was his ability to demonstrate how to be a great teacher — without telling people what to do.
He taught by his example and by his friendship.
Those may sound like simple things, but I always say, "in simplicity is profundity."
Teaching by example means that you have to "walk your talk" — and you need to walk it consistently so that the students see it in action all the time. That way they see it frequently and repeatedly which helps to inculcate in them the lessons that are being taught.
And friendship is critical, because the basis of every relationship no matter how it is formally defined externally (marriage, dating, work colleague, teammate, friends or family) is the internal friendship between and among the people involved.
That means, as he taught us, we need to accept the other person however they present themselves to us in the world. In other words, to accept everything about them however they express it because that is part of 'who they are.'
That is true friendship.
All too often, we tend to be "selective friends" with others. Meaning that we tend to 'pick and choose' what we like about them and what we will accept about them. Some of us even do it verbally, but most people do it at least nonverbally. However, the other person 'feels' that on some level — they sense it and know it even without your telling them. And that feeling of nonacceptance, not fully accepting who they are, causes them to contract, to 'feel smaller' so to speak, to not feel loved.
Jesus was a master at many things. But primarily I think he was a master at knowing people. Because he knew himself so well. By knowing himself so well, his mind was free to connect fully with other minds with whom he came in contact.
And they felt that deeply.
By connecting with them in that very personal way — even nonverbally — he was able to "know things about them" that may have been unseen, and certainly were often unspoken.
That is a different form of friendship.
It is a type of friendship that we can all have with anyone, whether we have ever met them before or not.
It is what I have aspired to my whole life — connecting with friends — as well as strangers — in a way that is deep and meaningful. Whether it's a cab driver, a shoe repair guy, or a lawyer at a business reception — it doesn't matter. By simply accepting them for who they are at that moment, they open up, they relax — and they share a part of themselves with you — connecting even for a brief moment, as friends.
This, I think, is the most valuable lesson that he taught us.
Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.
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